


Leave your lover

by kate_fy



Series: Frozen One Shots [9]
Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Elsamaren Summer 2020 (Disney), F/F, Fluff and Angst, Give Elsa A Girlfriend (Disney), Idiots in Love, Yes I know, make that girlfriend be honeymaren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25284478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate_fy/pseuds/kate_fy
Summary: ''You'll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rainOr how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name''Elsamaren Summer 2020<"Out of everyone you could have chosen, why me?''>
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Series: Frozen One Shots [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1644952
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34
Collections: Elsamaren Summer 2020





	Leave your lover

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of the 2 submissions I planned on posting lmao  
> I wasn't being lazy but I was really sick and now that I'm healthier my brain is dry. 
> 
> Anyway, I suggest you listen to leave your lover by Sam Smith on repeat because he inspired this whole thing as you can see. Thank you, Sammy. 
> 
> Go ahead and enjoy. Grab some tissues if you feel like crying.

_Breathtaking._ Was the first word that popped into her mind when she saw her that morning under the golden globe in the clear blue sky. Her skin gleaming under the sunrays of midsummer, eyes wide with confidence yet so much possibility and hope. For what? A future perhaps, the one aligned with desires and long promises. Her dark hair flowing down her back, cascading free, flowing with the soft breeze. _Surreal. She was surreal_. A dream personified in a single human. 

Her smile was wide, honest and real; reaching up to her eyes in pure fairness. Button nose down the dusty layer of freckles enhanced by the sunbeams of a hard work day. Lips that held secrets, truths and shared nights of unconditionality none dared to explore further. Out of fear of not correspond to the other. Or maybe of everything being too much for the world to witness, shied away by self-doubt. Feelings shared through stolen glances yet hidden under layers of apprehension, denial and disapproval. 

There were mutual experiences shared, confirmations waiting to happen. But time passing awfully fast, leaves turning dry and falling, winter arriving and brushing away possibilities. Heart aching, drowning in despair and solitude. 

_Until that moment._

Under the bright sun in the middle of the meadows, flowers surrounding each side of the plains, trees moving and dancing along the expectant eyes of the witness who were more than that. 

A proposal. Reindeers. Flowers thrown in the air. A big declaration of love towards the brunette, the love she had always deserved. An unsure yet steady nod of her head, followed by claps and yells of contentment. Eyes meeting briefly, searching something that wasn’t there in the surface but deep within themselves. In their very core. 

Heart crushing, threads that belonged to the other cut sharply. They didn’t belong to each other, not anymore. A sad smile of acknowledgement as she turned around, back to the solitude that always accompanied her. The woman she loved didn’t belong to her no more. And she was okay with that. 

But under the starry night they sought each other’s company. No matter the mournful feeling of the morning after, the regret and disappointment at the lack of control. How could she? It took one glance, one tongue brush of her lower lip to know that deep within her, she did belong to her. They belonged to each other at heart. At an intrinsic level no one else could reach nor notice. 

‘’Tell me not to marry him’’ She would plea each time in between the panting and gasping, the tongue brushing and lips kissing. But no answers were given, none verbally. Her heart spoke in ways her mouth couldn’t, in ways words would never explain the vastity of feelings, the intensity of emotions held for a woman that owned much more than her heart. But past traumas, shattered hearts, fear and concealing restricting her moves, each step carefully measured by the outcomes. 

Heart shielded, sheltered from the anguish. There had been pain and she didn’t want more. Instead, she offered herself to the brunette expecting nothing in return. But she got love. She got companionship, long nights of arms wrapped around the other, bodies pressed together like missing pieces of an incomplete puzzle. Forced herself to get used to something she didn’t have, that she will never have, that didn’t deserve. 

But she’d watch her, in silence every time. The same arms that were around her the night before now wrapped around him; the same lips that had kissed her body devotedly and relentlessly, now mouthing his name. There wasn’t much to offer other than the incessant passing of time in absolute pain, oceanic eyes parting from heartbreaking scenes leaving to the lonely path the future held for her. 

Still, every night was the same. An endless cycle of what they couldn’t have yet refused to give up. A painful situation they had entangled each other in. And it was more than the physicality of it all, that they knew. It was cursing each other’s name to the universe, letting it float in the air perpetually. A connection of the mind and soul. But she couldn’t have her and hated herself a little more every night for the fragility of her determination. 

With that same heartbreaking will, she watched her go that morning. A quick and final glance to the woman that will never warm the bed with her presence again, warm her heart and make her feel more than what she always was. A teary goodbye she had avoided for many nights. The words threatened to escape the confines of her heart, words that would shatter every wall she had built around. Pleas of remain, of utterly adoration. But they were forced back to the darkness of her heart. 

She spent the whole day grieving in the solitude of her lavvu, hiding under the covers that provided comfort from the painful reality. And she hated herself for not trying harder, for not allowing herself the chance of picturing a life with her. A privilege someone else was given, of an eternity spent with the woman she loved. With her big smile and kind heart, the one she craved deeply to observe one more time under the dotted firmament and by the flames of the fire. In all its bare glory. 

Thoughts quickly interrupted by light and fast footsteps approaching. Door opening, revealing a disheveled bride standing by the entrance. Panting, trying to regain whatever composure had been lost in the forest. Cheeks flustered, chest heaving with expectation as she sat up quickly, astonished. 

‘’I couldn’t do it’’ She muttered, out of breath. The atmosphere growing with the intensity of the unsaid. Tears threatening to fall but being held back. Couldn’t let her give everything up for her, waste it for her. Her smile flattered, morphing into a frown. ‘’I love you’’ 

One step further drove her back, recoiled in fear. The frown mirrored in her perfect caramel face. ‘’You shouldn’t’’ 

‘’But I do. And I know you do too’’ The frown turned into the confident smile she always loved, the one she carried with pride. It was something fantastic to watch, an event not many have been able to witness with the intimacy it brought. 

Thoughts pushed aside, emotions creeping in and filling every inch of her body. With a loving gaze like the one she held; she couldn’t find it in herself to fight. An awakening of some sorts. The cracking of a mask, turned into genuine surprise. She had given everything, not asking anything in return. Yet she got this. _Undeserving love_. 

‘’Out of everyone you could’ve chosen, why me?’’ Trembling voice, filled with fear for the uncertain answers and endless possibilities, permeated by the increasing anguish of that irrevocable future. 

Light steps, warm figure moving closer. Shaking hands being held and comforted by the soothing presence of the brunette. A confirmation. Eyes locking, seeing beyond the surface of feelings. Connecting internally. ‘’Because you see me... And I see you’’ 

And they’d see each other for the rest of their lives. Under the beaming sun or the rainy sky, the dotted firmament or cloudless heavens. Whispering names with tenderness or desperation, under the covers or out in the wild. In the echoes of their names and the longing of their touches. For the lifetime they’re bound together and even more, _she would see her._

**Author's Note:**

> I was really proud of this one and wasn't going to post it till last night, when I gathered all my courage and decided to share it with the world.  
> Yep.  
> Wow, I have nothing else to say. That’s a first lol 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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